Clouded with the hope of darkness
Nothing can be seen
The weight of my heart a fortress
Even still, I need to believe.
Struggling to find a breath
The walls collapsing around me
The strength of despair is death
He is there even if I cannot see.
This is the valley
The mountains towering above me
Like giants taunting my faith
Even still, I need to receive.
Praise Him in the darkness!
Praise Him to kill the giants!
Praise Him to detonate the weight!
Praise Him, even if you must wait.
Praise the Lord through the valley
His hand will guide your feet
His light will diffuse the darkness
His Spirit will fill your dream.
Praise Him in the valley… Easier said than done, right? I don’t know about you, but for me, this particular message was very difficult for me to hear while I was going through infertility. Nothing within my body felt like “praising or exalting” the Lord. (If I am being honest) I wish I could say that I praised Him, had faith in Him, and fully trusted Him and His word, but for most of the time, I resented His love, His praise, His word, and lost trust in His desire to take care of me. This may sound harsh, and it is meant to because the pain of infertility is very real. It is very unwelcoming, and it knows no bounds. It is a mixture of fear, guilt, insecurity, pain (physical and emotional), devastation, and the absolute worst, is the loneliness. I can’t even tell you how many times I told my husband that I just feel alone in this walk. I didn’t “feel” God with me, nor did I feel like my husband could really understand—and to some degree he couldn’t.
This is a walk only you and God can fully know and understand, but what a beautiful opportunity He is giving you!
Today, I want to encourage you on your walk through the valley, which may or may not be infertility. Maybe this walk is cancer, the loss of a child, the loss of a husband or wife, the loss of hope period. One thing I do know for sure now that I am on the other side of this journey is that one, you are never alone. God will never leave you nor forsake you.Two, God brings us through the valleys to prepare us for something more. Three, He uses your valley to reach someone else, to bring glory to His name and to His kingdom. And four, He uses the valley to mature your faith in Him—drawing you closer to Him.
Who else on earth besides His children have the same luxury of knowing that God is with you always? His love for you never wanes.No matter the struggle, the hurt, the anger, the sin… He will ALWAYS love you and desire to give you the things that you need and even sometimes, the things that you want. Just think about all the things you desire to give your future children or current children. So much more, God wants to give to you.
But the biggest reason for why I felt like I could not praise Him through the valley is simply this. I just couldn’t “feel” it. I couldn’t “feel” hope. I couldn’t “feel” joy. I couldn’t “feel” His presence, and what I could feel was so strong that it overshadowed this one simple truth. Hope, joy, faith, love… these are not “feelings.” These are decisions you make—especially when you can’t “feel” it. Joyce Meyer recently stated in her podcast series “We Can Do It” that at the beginning of your walk with Christ, when you are still a baby Christian, you are able to feel everything. Maybe, God allows this to occur to further draw you in to Him. Kind of like a new relationship. The first six months are pure bliss. You feel so in-love, and so strongly desire the others company. At least this is how I felt when I first met my husband. I remember my aunt telling me that this is the “honeymoon” phase, and it won’t last. And boy was she right! Now, 14 years later, after walking through 11 years of marriage, the first five of those years dealing with my husband’s drinking problem, and the last 4 of those years walking through infertility, I know for certain that love is NOT a feeling. Can you feel love? Yes, but more than anything, love is a decision. The most beautiful decision one can make is to love even when you don’t feel it. Joyce Meyer continues to say that God won’t allow you to always “feel” things because real spiritual maturity comes from believing—especially when you don’t feel anything. But it takes time learning the character of God, spending time in His word and in His presence to fully trust the decision without the feelings.
I am thankful that I am learning this now because how much more powerful are we going to be when we decide to believe even when we don’t feel it. And I tell you ladies, when we make that decision, God WILL move in our situations.
Let me pray for you:
Heavenly Father, thank you for your wisdom, thank you for deciding to love me and my sisters in Christ. What a beautiful thing it is to be loved by you! Lord I ask that you will give us strength to walk through the valleys you place before us. Help us, Lord, to know you are with us even if we cannot feel you near. Hear the hearts of my sisters Lord. Heal their pain. Lord I come against the spirits of unbelief, fear, and hopelessness. In the name of Jesus, you must flee by the power of Christ within us. Lord we praise your most holy name! Glory to God in the Highest for you have over come every obstacle, leveled every mountain, tamed every Giant, and shown your light on all darkness FOREVER! We love you Jesus. In your most Holy name, Amen!
These are a few worship songs to get you started “praising Him in the valley.”
Raise a Hallelujah by Bethel Music
Even So Come by Kristian Stanfill